Video - A Cousin to Pictures

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This guy loses it at 0:27 when the artist says:
If I had a dick I'd pull it out and piss on 'em

I switched video players. You can now see a timeline and choose to watch in full screen!
I currently have bytes of videos on my website.

Videos of the Week - 2012

Turning left - like a boss
Dolphin attack - at SeaWorld Orlando
Truck stops - for no flood
Wheelchair scuba - some people just can't be stopped
US Marine - stops a robbery
Runaway car - barely chased down in time
Passing fail - Make sure someone else isn't passing before you try it
Baby moose - playing in the sprinkler Long Video
TV Repair - Candid Camera style
Johnny Carson - and Dom Deluise
Truck vs bridge - nobody wins, especially not the pedestrians
Game show - best answers ever given
Flag flying - underwater in Key Largo
Car crashes - quite a few different clips
Attacking boat - almost eats the guy who fell out
Street racer - owning three cops
Squirrel challenges - an obstacle course
Musical wooings - through the ages
Scottish arguement - on a TV show
Monster bicycle - not practicle, yet extremely cool
Great white - harasses two divers
Landing fish - just got a little hardere
Pandas playing - playing on a playground slide
Reneck fails - a compilation
Police chase - the cop helps him escape
Tightrope fail - brings the house down
Orville helicopter - made from a man's stuffed pet cat
Sea slug - is a weird creature that moves in weird ways
Parenting fail - and they don't handle the situation well either
Nut shot - a great compilation
MMA ninje - I guess he didn't see that coming
Military failures - three classics
Marching band - pays tribute to the military
Video games - controlled by urine
Animal funnies - 15 short clips
Military launches - not going so smoothly
Fails compilation - a bunch of people doing things wrong
Car wash - the super fast method
Cami Secret - a parody of the infomercial
Blue fish - as I swim through their school in Belize
Submarine boat - how to kill the resale value of your boat
Moray eel - swimming away in Belize
Dolphin dive - in Roatan, Honduras
Cube Stormer - robotic solution to a Rubik's Cube
Parallel parking - now that's a tight squeeze
Turkey call - how not to do it on national television
Boat collision - whyd id they have to fight over the same piece of water?
iPhone fight - spouses using Siri to relay their fight

Videos of the Week - 2011

Ant crusher - among other things
Halloween lights - rockin the neighborhood
Drunk drivers - too bad the cops can't catch them when people call
Rolling downhill - not the best move ever
Thieving octopus - why doesn't stuff like this ever happen to me?! This would rock!
Tire change - with style Long Video
Wheelbarrow races - done right
Music video - in the style of an 80s video game
Mother Nature - likes to remind us who's in charge
Motocross Mom - taking out her mom
Family Feud - things you pass around
Surfing bulldog - a dog's just gotta have fun
Roof jumping - you are supposed to catch the tree
Interstate skiing - a new Olympic sport?
Race fires - very exciting for the driver and to watch
Lightning strikes - the same man twice
Sidecar racing - who decides they want to be the guy hanging on?
Rally cars - they quite often stray from the path
Cow luggage - there's a cow in the trunk
Hand Brake - just leave it on
Kite boarding - how not to do it
African animals - getting drunk from ripe Marula fruit
Treadmill biking - not for stunts
Redneck paintball - duck hunting
Parachute landing - a bit off target
Nurse shark - chasing out of the wreck
Drawing Rome - with just one short fly over to memorize it
Lioness hunting - but can't get through the glass
Jewfish and bait - a close knit community
Lip balm - trick on young women
Sea turtle - on the USCGC Duane
Navy ship - turns on a dime
Baby rhino - defending his mom
Dolphins hunting - by smacking their tails
Feeding jewfish - just make sure you let go of the bait
Skateboardin day - interrupted by an over-zealous cop
Human jumbotron - what a show
Skiing backflip - or not
Biggest fails - of 2010
Mrs. Hughes - can make you laugh for 8 minutes
Japan's tsunami - oh the power of water
Wooden spoons - how about we beat each other about the head with them
Semi chase - amazing how long a semi can drag half the trailer around
Honey badger - is one badass little critter
Scuba cat - someone likes their pets a bit too much
Budweiser 9-11 - commercial they ran during the Superbowl
Face plant - cleavage style
Fountain diving - hope she doesn't drive while she texts
Breakfast doggystyle - had to be a lot of fun to film
Blackberry returned - because it just doesn't work
Gun cleaning - when your wife just won't listen
Cat crash - wall 1, cat 0

Videos of the Week - 2010

Squirrel feeder - might as well make them work for it
Christmas wrapping - when you are giving a cat
Forklift accident - like a house of cards
Rap album - thoroughly enjoyed by a gay man
Trick play - teaching kids to win at all costs
Job search - why it is hard to get a job these days
Getting grounded - with style
Unbelievable disguise - on an airplane
Soccer goalies - fast hands, slow mind
Baby Rhino - defender of his mom
Tubing - on shore edition
Rubbing - is racing
Shopping Carts - for holding passed out dates
Health Care - I knew somebody had to support it
Kittens - most people find them cute
Watermelons - made for launching
Fried chicken - worth singing about
Marriage - the proper Christian way
Vandenberg - a quick trip through one of the upper compartments
Big snake - check out this monster
Projects - they are raping everyone up in here
Standoff - me, a jewfish and a lot of mouth
Frog Rape - by a chimp
Drop Anchor - wait, not yet
Hopper Barge - a quick trip through the wreck then a visit with the Jewfish
Pit Stop - you actually have to stop for them to change your tires
Boogie Board - how not to do it
Fin Barge - View under the bow
BP - reacts to a coffee spill
Carrier landing - from the pilot's view
Turtle power - a sea turtle dives under as we boat past him
High dive - in a kayak
Wedding DJ - Worst Ever
Paragliding launch - the Instant Launch Edition
Shooting range - with a hispanic flare
Ambulances - more harm than good
Branded - how the horse fights back
Cart racing - the most popular spot on the track
Cat fight - you can only put up with so much crap
Dog attack - it's pretty bad when you can't even stand yourself
Dorritos bark collar - revenge is oh so sweet (or salty in this case)
Front fell off - are you sure, maybe the front fell off
Getting off the boat - but not onto the dock
Gun control - are we sure it is a good thing
India's traffic - I think I'll keep my commute thank you
Monkey pee - now that's irresistible
Auto club - Pakistan style
Police chase - you can spin this guy, but can you stop him

Videos of the Week - 2009

Dear Penis - musical parody that had me in stitches
Brotherly Love - this is why all boys should have a brother
World of Warcraft - and how messed up kids who get addicted become
When pigs fly - and for good reason
Crazy pilots - who skim the earth
Don't pee - in the woods or you might attract attention
Goldfish Funeral - the neighbor should have stayed out of it
Biker chick - should stay away from the offroad toys
Rifle practice - for the terrorists
Dog & Deer - playing in the back yard
Clown Dancing - headbanging while wearing a mask
BMX Jump - landing not so good
Ping Pong - with nunchucks by Bruce Lee
Copy machines - don't make good ladders
Cellphone karma - it's real
New Toy - This coin pusher game is our latest game room addition
Novacaine - it's for the patients
Dreaming Dog - he was really getting into it
Dogs having fun - several clips of dogs having fun
Pranks - some of the best fun around
Fat kids - don't mess with their food
Female drivers - aren't always the best drivers
Rough job - testing Ferraris until destruction
Pit stop - a bit toastier than normal
Ball girl - can catch better than the pros
Golf buddy - shouldn't be so annoying
Christmas - don't bitch so much when you marry an Italian
Cake arrival - left this mom in tatters
Gun safety - at its finest
Office Hurdles - The next Olympic sport
Subway Piano Stairs - a little fun can get people to take the stairs
Pommel Horse - wins this round
Frog - gone wild
Quit Drinking - definitely time to work on that New Year's resolution
SR71 model plane - very cool jet powered model plane
Read the label - to save yourself some embarrassment
Ripsaw - one cool tank prototype
Colonoscopy - information by a Scottish comedian
Kathy playing pinball - or at least attempting to do so
Shadow puppets - commercial for a wildlife refuge
Jay Leno - quizzes a smart girl
Snug WOW - Sham WOW meets Snuggie
Border crossings - how the guards fight boredom
Sucker - guys are so predictable
Tabasco - reigning fire down on us
Train tracks - can be useful
Poster child - for birth control (and spankings)
Skateboarder - vs fire hydrant
Airplane - that loses a wing during a stunt

Tank - My English Mastiff

Tank at 8 weeks - short clip right after we brought him home
Uncoordinated - apparently he was clutz...watch to the end
Dog park - getting owned by a pug

Scuba Diving Videos

Wheelchair Scuba - where there's a will, there's a way
Nurse shark - being chased by me
Jewfish bullies - the bait fish won't get anywhere near them
Flag flying - underwater in Key Largo
Sea slug - is a weird creature that moves in weird ways
Blue fish - as I swim through their school in Belize
Moray eel - swimming away in Belize
Dolphin dive - in Roatan, Honduras
Sea turtle - on the USCGC Duane
Vandenberg - a quick trip through one of the upper compartments
Standoff - me, a jewfish and a lot of mouth
Hopper Barge - a quick trip through the wreck then a visit with the Jewfish
Fin Barge - View under the bow
Turtle power - a sea turtle dives under as we boat past him
Jewfish - aren't happy with our presence
Bait pockets - surround us as we swim along the wreck
Bayronto bait - clear visibility and lots of sea life
Nurse shark - as I chase it around the Bayronto
Flounder - sure are hard to see
Snail - they don't move fast, but they do get there
Trigger fish - I couldn't keep up
Crabs - They have fear
Grouper - Don't like to be followed
Hogfish - Generally don't swim fast, but can
Jewfish - big chickens
Discovery Cove - Manta Ray reef area
Pipeline - protective rocks make good fish homes
Reef fish - usually have bright colors
Starfish - slow and steady wins the race
Landing craft - wreck tour

My 25th Birthday Party Pedestal Jousting

Dan and Jason - didn't need that helmet anyway
Mike and Jason - he was picking on little ole me